In January, we were shocked at the news that I had become pregnant. We were a little confused, but rejoiced still and thought this baby to be a beautiful gift from the Lord. However, after several prior pregnancy losses (early losses), and other events happening in our lives, we decided to wait to share our news. Around 16 weeks we joyously began spreading the word. We celebrated with family and friends until the Friday before Easter when we got a concerned call from the doctor. I had gone for my routine 18 week ultrasound and they discovered that the amniotic fluid surrounding the baby was dangerously low. They asked me to see a specialist and have a more detailed ultrasound the following week. I was put on bed rest and told to drink as much as possible. Well, the very next week I went to see the specialist and what he found was more devastating than anything we could have imagined.
The doctor said that our sweet baby had not developed correctly, meaning that her kidneys were not functioning properly and they could find no bladder for her. It appeared as if she may have a hole in her heart and they concluded that she would be "incompatible with life." With no amniotic fluid, her lungs would not be allowed to develop as they should and her organs were not repairable. The specialist who told me that he is "in the business of fixing babies" suggested we terminate the pregnancy. Of course, we are unable to do that to our precious child, created with value and purpose by the Lord. So the very difficult journey begins. I will carry this little one until the Lord chooses to take her, whether that be in a few months or right after she is delivered. I am almost 20 weeks right now and she is due in September. We are clinging to the one who promises never to leave us. He is our "strength in time of trouble." Psalm 37:39